Category Archives: Brooklyn

Brooklyn

Gulf Coast Bay Ridge

Can you teach an old Dog new Tricks; I don’t know most likely. Dogs are smarter than most the people I interact with on a daily biases. What I do know is that the re-branding of Circles café into Gulf Coast Bay Ridge (310 Bay Ridge Avenue) was a brilliant idea. The neighborhood was missing: Jamaican accent: some Island Flavor Mon. Is it real Island flavor? No, it’s flavored towards the neighborhood. If you want some hardcore ass jerked shit then take your ass to Myrtle Avenue. There you will find some good ox tail, jerked chicken, half the items sold out and your asshole on fire. Gulf Coast is targeting the neighborhood it is in Bay Ridge. I am not Knocking the food just laying it all out. The Food was good.

Gulf Coast Bay Ridge Cajun CalaMari

Gulf Coast Bay Ridge’ Cajun Calamari this is the shit you have to try it. The combination of sauces and Cajun spices blend perfectly. The dish comes out to be externally  well balances and the texture is great. Its not greasy or rubbery. What more can you ask for? Besides another drink…..

Gulf Coast Bay Ridge Zombie Of course I ordered a  zombie. Did you expect me to be on the wagon? Seriously have you read any of my other posts?

Gulf Coast Bay Ridge Coconut shrip   Gulf Coast Coconut shrimp was good. Honestly its a little hard to live up to the expectation that the calamari created. They were good and I would order them again and most likely every time.

Gulf Coast Bay Ridge Drunken Crawfish Pasta

My  entree was  Drunken Crawfish Pasta very flavorful and had some  kick to it. This isn’t your grandmothers pasta It has heat. IF you don’t like heat don’t get it! (I am measuring a white people spice scale.)

Gulf Coast Bay Ridge apple pie

Last but not least was the warm apple pie with ice cream on the side. Its apple pie with ice cream how the fuck can this be bad in any way? Like seriously I have never had a apple pie that I didn’t like!

Gulf Coast Bay Ridge should definitely be on your list of restaurants to try. The food is good, the drinks strong and it  not your  everyday Bay Ridge food. You can have burgers, wings, beer and pizza only so often before you get feed up with them. ‘

 

Cocoa Grinder

There is a new player on the Bay Ridge Brooklyn healthy restaurant scene, Cocoa Grinder. (I was  not aware  of the old location on 4th avenue location prior to the opening of the new location on 3rd avenue in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn ) The new location on 8511 3rd ave (Brooklyn) is decorated very nicely with a clean modern look. I love the hammer for a  door handle.  ( Plays with your head the first few times that you see it) Do you know what  attracts me  to Cocoa Grinders  ? Iron Extreme apple, carrot, broccoli, kale, beet & spinach. That shit is my DRINK!  Normally I would have to  make a custom order for that drink and the server’s ALWAYS FUCKS IT UP.  But not at the Cocoa Grinder which makes me one happy fat guy.

Cocoa Grinder Bay Ridge Iron Extreme juice
Cocoa Grinder Iron Extreme juice

The staff  really does cares about the products they are serving, even washes down the machine after ever USE. You  would think that washing the juicer is a normal thing in all juice bars right? WRONG, ever had a taste orange when you didn’t order orange? YUP the bitchs didn’t wash the machine after the last customer.

In my opinion Cocoa Grinder is better then all the other juice bars  that  I have tried in the neighborhood.

NOW MY RANT. This has nothing to with Cocoa Grinder just some of the customers that were there today. But it  happens  in every  juice bar  I have ever visited. STOP Fucking ordering smoothies and saying that they are fucking healthy. GET A Fucking Complete fresh squeezed JUICE. What do I mean by complete? A juice that has a wide a ray of  vitamins and minerals. You DO need those to stay healthy. Not just the big 4.  I had to listen to these chicks  talk about how healthy smoothies are,  that they blah blah blah this and that. No. Please. Stop your stupidity. Just get a juice. Juices taste just as good if not better as smoothies.  They also  do not contain any milk or processed ingredients and normally are less sugar. Its not only yogurt Dumb ass. Its LOW FAT yogurt (in most places) how do you think they make it low fat? There is NO such thing as a LOW FAT COWs.

Lets do this another way. Compare a strawberry banana smoothie to a Iron Extreme. These are all estimated number that you can get from the web if you doubt me each has been linked in the title. The nutritional information below does not represent the national information for Cocoa Grinder.

First up!! The Strawberry Banana smoothie

Nutrition Information

 

Nutrition Facts
Serving Size: 510 g
Amount Per Serving: 1.0 each
Calories 310
% Daily Value *
Total Fat 0.0g 0.0%
Saturated Fat 0.0g 0.0%
Trans Fat 0g
Cholesterol 0mg 0.0%
Sodium 115mg 4.79%
Total Carbohydrate 74.0g 24.7%
Dietary Fiber 4.00g 16.00%
Sugars 56.0g
Protein 4.0g 8.0%
Vitamin A 0.00%
Vitamin C 170.00%
Calcium 15.0%
Iron 4.00%
Vitamin D
Potassium
* The % daily value is based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Your recommended daily intake may vary depending on your calorie needs.

 

NOW the Iron Extreme.

Nutrition Facts

Total Juice Yield 12.12 oz
Total Juice Calories 261
% Daily Value*
Total Fat 2.84g 3%
Protein 16.24g 32%
Total Carbohydrates 73.56g 26%
Dietary Fiber 22.4g 90%
Sugars 41.47g 164%
Water 859.17g
Vitamin C 207.6ug 346%
Vitamin A 39129ug 6523%
Vitamin E 8.8mg 29%
Vitamin K 2156.4ug 2695%
Thiamin 0.45mg 30%
Riboflavin 0.88mg 51%
Niacin 4.02mg 19%
Vitamin B6 1.08mg 54%
Folate 863ug 216%
Calcium 481mg 49%
Iron 11.58mg 63%
Magnesium 342mg 97%
Phosphorus 322mg 32%
Potassium 2990mg 86%
Sodium 372mg 15%
Zinc 2.74mg 18%

* Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Your daily values may be higher or lower depending on your calorie needs:

See the Difference?YES? Good now order a fucking juice.

No? Let me explain it to you in simpler terms.  Most fresh squeezed juices have more good stuff in them then smoothies.

That Good stuff makes your body healthier and stronger so the odds of you getting SICK decease.

If you want a whole breakdown of how all this works go back to high school health class and open your fucking ears.

Return of the Bon Chovie

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not One drop of  booze   was left not even a alehouse.
The texts were sent out with great care,
In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.

To drink a few rounds and have a few shots.

And maybe find a few trots…

Cause well yea that’s what we do here in Brooklyn.

But seriously I was out of booze and wanted something to eat. The only choice that was left was going down to 3rd avenue for some food. That whole week was a cluster fuck of dinners and events. I needed something Light, fast and clean to keep this god like body you know. ( Bacchus was a god) Only one think popped into my mind Bon Chovie. That’s right Return of the Bon Chovie!!!

Its my site and I will write about ANY restaurant  or Topic I want to at the time. Shut you mouth and don’t bitch that I already wrote about it.

Bon chovie is Good CLEAN FOOD. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY? NO?  What do you think I will only go there once and never visit again? I didn’t even eat everything on the menu.

Bon chovie Grilled Mahi Tacos

Grilled Mahi Tacos(Two tacos served on warm flour tortillas topped with homemade mango salsa, shredded cabbage and lime mayo. Served with tortilla chips.)  Tacos….Tacos…. Taaacooooosss. I wanted tacos and I got them.  AGAIN WHAT IS THE COMMON THEME WITH Bon Chovie? FRESH AND CLEAN. All the Flavors were on point. None of the dishes were over powered by a fish taste.

Bon Chovie Surf and Turf

Surf and turf burger. One part burger one part lobster. THAT’S RIGHT SAME AMOUNT OF LOBSTER AS BEEF. Let me sum up the flavors. Once the great tasting beef is one you as a tease. the lobster slowly come up and fucks your taste buds till they cum.  ( meh you say try it then meh)Bon Chovie tater tots

See these bitches?? That are Called Tater Tots if you can get them instead of fries DO they are WAY WAY better tastings and the sauce  refreshes your taste buds.

Something pretty cool happened here the night that i stopped by. The owner figured out who I was on IG and on here. DAM it I need to wear a costume from now on…..

Salud Bkyln Brooklyn Bay Ridge

For the last 2 months I have been walking by Salud Bkyln (Brooklyn ) store front waiting for them to open their doors to the public. Their awning said  ” Tapas Restaurant Bar” I love Tapas. I Love Restaurants and I love bars.  SHOCKER! A fat guy that likes food that you can eat with your hand. I am pretty sure that we all LOVE Finger food. Small portions of different plates lets your sample the most out of a menu with out committing to a main dish how can you go wrong? .( PLEASE DON’T START WITH THE COMMITMENT ISSUES. I HEAR IT ALL THE FUCKING TIME. ) As soon as I heard that they were open I jumped at the chance to eat some of their food.

I got my fat ass there by 9 pm the same day. The place wasn’t packed but it wasn’t empty.  In my opinion the perfect amount of people. Enough that the staff isn’t on top of you but not so busy that they are no where to be found.

 

Salud Brooklyn Cheese Plate

The meal started out with a extra dirty martini and a cheese plate. Well we all know that I am a cheese whore and LOVE ME SOME CHEESEEEEEEEE. Remember Kids cheese is crack! Everything was going well till I heard the words that ALWAYS KILL ME. ” Soft opening”  My smart ass went on the first Day YAY. I have been to more soft opening then I care to remember. Most of them have ended up with Fat Guy having Rocket butt. Do you know what rocket butt is?? THINK ABOUT IT!!  It was already too late to back down my orders have already been placed. I did the only thing that I could do in a situation like this…. Ordered and other martini! ( thankfully no rocket butt and I had a good meal)

Salud Brooklyn Ceviche

Next came out the Ceviche and some other crap. (it wasn’t crap I just don’t remember the name) Guy, gals and who ever else  is reading this the Ceviche was on point. Good clean and fresh. All the flavors were balanced and nothing was over powering.

Salud Brooklyn Fried

These are the craps. I would have them again. But I cant remember the name of the dish to save my life.

Salud Brooklyn New York Strip Steak

The main Course was a lovely New York Strip cooked and matched with its side perfectly. Yes I ate all of this shit by myself. There is a reason why the blog is called fat guy from Brooklyn.

Salud Brooklyn churros

The  churros were the only that was not on the same level as everything else that they served. To be fair I had 2 bowls of rice to riches earlier in the day. I was pretty much full of sugar and rice to riches is the BEST. I will have to try them again.

Overall. I like Salud BKLYN the food is good clean and fresh. What more do you want from a restaurant? The owner was a sweetheart. Spoke to everyone that was there that night.  He  couldn’t sit down but promised to have a drink with me next time. Jose, don’t mess with a fat guys booze! I will hunt you down and Make you drink with me! Plus I would love to interview you more formally.

BTW there is a  beautiful waitress there by the name of Genesis . ( SEGAAA)  That promised to follow me on IG but never did…. GO shame her my minions! Order 66 on HER!!! Joking….. But yea why did you not add me? Is it cause im fat???

Bon Chovie Bay Ridge

Bon Jovi!!! YEAAA I mean Bon Chovie! WTF is Bon Chovie you are asking  yourself right now?  Great question… You get a gold star! Bon Chovie is seafood restaurant  in Bay Ridge Brooklyn. There motto is Fresh Fish Fast. Trust me they live up to that motto. I was in  and out of the restaurant in 40 minutes. Let me put it to you in perspective. I ate 2 appetizers, 1 entree and had a dessert and  all of this food was prepared in 40 MINUTES. That,s Nuts just think about it.

The craziest part is that the food was great. Fresh and full of flavor. What more can you ask for?

Bon Chovie Fried AnchoviesThe first appetizer that came out was fried anchovies (Whole fresh anchovies breaded and fried served with smoked paprika mayo).  Not bad not something that I eat everyday. But Hey I would have it again.  The peel and eat prawns(Jumbo prawns steamed with fresh herbs and Old Bay, served with house-made cocktail sauce) came out next. THOSE WERE FUCKING GREAT. I love prawns! They were the prefect size to snack on before the entree was ready.  Bon Chovie Peal And Eat Prawns  Fuck you order THIS Lobster roll (Fresh, juicy claw meat lightly dressed in lemon-mayo served chilled on a warm buttered roll. Served with Old Bay Fries). Order it dont fucking think just order it! Look at that Chucky Lobster! How can you not order it?
Bon Chovie Lobster Roll

THEN order the root beer float.

Root Beer Float Bon Chovie

YES ROOT BEER FLOAT! IT should be named just beer float. What ever the name its a great way to finish the end of the meal.

Bon Choive in  Bay Ridge is worth a try.  BUT YOU MUST GET THE LOBSTER ROLL AND ROOT BEER FLOAT.

Dyker Heights Christmas Lights

None of us really grew up. We all love the holidays and everything about them. The lights, the candy, the presents, the cinnamon flavored booze and getting to see your family. You HAVE to see them once a year or they’ll start bitching. EVEN really weird religious cousin  that says you’re going to hell. You are BTW its too late to change now, so you might as well enjoy the ride. THe holidays are a perfect time to see them.

This year is a bit different its not as festive. I did my annual trip to the Dyker Heights Christmas lights show and it was WEAK.  Barely half the block that had  Christmas lights or any festive decorations. I remember back in the day ( Yea i just used that saying FML) The WHOLE block was covered with lights. There WERE LINES OF people and cars for blocks.  But this year there maybe have been about 25 people on the block with me. That’s not the Dyker Heights Christmas lights show grew up with at all.  yes the tow main houses had everything lit up like always but

Dyker Heights Christmas Lights (1)

Dyker Heights Christmas Lights (2) Dyker Heights Christmas Lights (3)

Dyker Heights Christmas Lights (4)

Dyker Heights Christmas Lights (5) Dyker Heights Christmas Lights (6)

What Happened? Kids Grew Up? I guess? Brooklyn isn’t what it used to be people don’t care anymore.  Nothing is the same. People just dont give a fuck anymore.  Or is it me?  What traditions do you miss?

The Brooklyn Market Cheese Department is the SHIT

the brooklyn market cheese selection
the brooklyn market cheese selection

As you all know by now, I’m a fat ass. I love all food but my favorite is CHEESE. Why? Women love cheese, I love women therefore I love cheese makes sense in my head.  The hard part about cheese is finding a good spot to get it without paying a arm or a leg. After years of searching “European” styled market opened in Bay Ridge.

the brooklyn market

The Brooklyn Market located 8102 3rd Ave in Brooklyn is the SHIT. They have everything a fat ass could want from fresh bread to pre cooked food.  But the main reason why I go there is the CHEESE sampler packs. They have five types french, Italian, goat, Spanish and one more that I don’t remember.

the brooklyn market spanish sampler
the brooklyn market spanish sampler

The samplers are perfect for when you want a little bit of a few different types of cheese  but don’t want any left over from a large package.  You know, If you get a 5 different 1 pound package its going to be gone in 2 days no matter what and then you will feel ashamed of yourself.  Bad fat ass bad fat ass! A sampler is the best solution it has 5 different cheeses and its not that big of a package.  Go get some and enjoy.

 

Brooklyn Beets Company

Pulled pork from Brooklyn beats company
Pulled pork

A few weeks ago I received a urgent call  from Mike to rally for a righteous cause; Stuffing out faces and getting shit faced . Well It was more then that  but I don’t think you give a shit about we spoke about.  (Both agreed you did not need to eat that box of Twinkies).   We had no set plan on where we were going just throw a coin into the air ended up at Brooklyn Beets Company. Yes, Its a magic coin. I am also selling the Verrazano bridge if you are interested

If you have never been its pretty good to say the least. Brooklyn Beets company is a farm to table restaurant in Bay Ridge Brooklyn.  The cuisine can be described as modern eastern European? Its hard to call out what they serve because they have a little of everything.

Skipping all the BS . The plates that were consumed( The plates were almost licked clean) are as followed  pulled pork special and NYS Butcher Steak. ( grass-fed grilled hanger, red bliss chips, lemon-braised dinosaur kale, pork-belly bordelaise.)

NYS Butcher Steak from Brooklyn beats company
NYS Butcher Steak

Both were BANGING. I do not say that often. When two guys that live and breath GOOD Food, say that the food was banging. It is Banging. Everything was fresh crisp and full of flavor.   Both dishes melted in your mouth. It was almost perfect. The only bad food we had was the  pickled plate. Just skip it and you will have a great time.

Stop reading this shit and go eat there now.

The signature drink is  pretty good. But by that point I may have also had a few bottles of wine.  That’s my disclosure if you don’t like the Brooklyn Beets Company.

Brooklyn Beetstini from Brooklyn beats company
Brooklyn Beetstini

 

 

New York Pizza Project

The New York Pizza Project, its a title just like any other title.I even would have missed the whole article if it wasn’t due to the image of my favorite pizzeria  being in the featured image. Elegante Pizzeria

I have been going  there for years. It is the best pizza in the neighborhood. All the other places are gone or have changed. Yes, there is Pizza Wagon but even White Castles tastes good at 2 am. Just saying… Look we all have our own favorite pizza spots. Anyone in Brooklyn or New York City has a top 5.  We don’t need more then 5 because we WILL travel to get a good slice of pizza.  Let me cut you off L and B suck since they sold it. Need me to repeat that? L and B sucks. Its not the same as it was back in the day. Don’t start with that its all in my head everyone says it you just need to get it through your thick head.  Was that clear enough for you? Stop being a basic bitch. The New York Pizza Project is a coffee table book documenting New York City’s last authentic pizzerias through photography and interviews, with a foreword by New York Times bestselling author, Jonathan Lethem. Its looking into the histroy and the people behind all of the classic pizzerias in  New York city.

the new york pizza project
the new york pizza project


I recommend getting it putting it on your table and looking classy. We all know your not and don’t really care. But its how you should put your hipster neighbors into there place. This book  is a splash of class and something that says yea im old school. Why cause you can say back in the 90s  I was there with my girl blah blah blah.

 

Visiting Grotto for antipasta after a long run

Grotto Hot ANti pasta
Grotto Hot Anti Pasta


This post is Long LONG over due I apologize my loyal followers… Well follower as in ONE person. YOU ARE A DAM CREEPER yes I SEE YOU! CREEP and everyone else You all SUCK! Now back to what we all came here to hear about FOOD and BOOZE.  A couple weeks ago I stopped by Grotto in Bay Ridge for a after run snack.  You know after 6 miles you need a nice healthy meal.  Every growing boy needs martinis and cheese. In my case its was a few martinis and some antipasta. They have a really good selection of antipasta. I went with the Antipasto All’ Italiana  (mixed olives, selection of two cheeses and salami) ( see below) and the hot one above. I dont remember what the name was its Hot antipasta and there was grilled cheese how can you not like it? Over all the food was good the drinks were cold. Only thing I can say was that the martini could have been dirtier. I like them Dirty Dirty. Still stop by its a good spot.

 

Grotto cold anti pasta
Grotto cold anti pasta