If these lists weren’t so damn efficient at pulling SEO traffic, I would not be doing them. You have no idea how annoying it is to write them. Someone always complains: “Why this? Why not that?” Well, too bad. This is my list, my money, my meals.
It always comes down to the same rinse-and-repeat: drinks, staff, food. If all three are dialed in, they make the cut.
The List
- Crown Shy
Never had a bad experience here. Not once. Rotational menu, killer execution, great hospitality. Even during COVID, eating outside on a freezing street, they kept it flawless. That’s consistency. - Gui Steakhouse
Yeah, it’s new, but I love it. Hits every button: fun menu, inventive drinks, staff that actually cares. Sure, it’s in Times Square (ugh), but I’m not holding it against them. - Au Cheval (and all Hog Salt spots)
That burger lives rent-free in my head. Absolute classic. But don’t sleep on the rest of the menu—Joshua Diner’s roast chicken? Next level. Same DNA every time: drinks, staff, food → repeat. - Maison Close
Brunch here is a whole event. The food’s incredible, but when you’ve got a half-naked dancer on a table during a bachelorette party while you’re sipping champagne—yeah, that’s an experience. - Una Pizza Napoletana
Some of the best pizza I’ve ever had. Chef Anthony keeps it small, tight, and dialed in. Every ingredient is either local perfection or straight from Italy. Minimalism done right. - Smith & Wollensky
Go ahead, roast me. But I love the parties here. Birthdays, group dinners, wine nights—it just works. The food’s always solid, the service never slips, and the staff makes sure you’re taken care of. - Frank (Lower East Side)
It’s basically your grandma’s kitchen if grandma were a downtown legend. Simple, honest, soulful food. Nothing fancy—just executed right. - Delmonico’s
A New York classic for a reason. They’ve still got the chops (literally). Old-school vibes, consistent plates, and a Caesar that’ll ruin you for any other Caesar. - Chadwick’s
My home base for years. Used to hit it every other week, now it’s more of a quarterly pilgrimage—but the routine’s the same: filet mignon, blue cheese, martini, Yankees blowing another lead. Comfort food, comfort chaos. - ???
I couldn’t pick. Too many options. Too many great meals. So the 10th spot is officially a rotating wildcard—whatever’s hitting in the moment.
The Banana Juice Theory
Making a “Top 10 Restaurants” list is like drinking banana juice—you don’t always crave it, but when you do, nothing else hits. Sometimes you want the chaos of Maison Close, sometimes it’s the simplicity of Frank, and sometimes it’s just a pizza at Una with zero stress. It’s not about the “best,” it’s about what’s right now.
As always, this is just the opinion of some Fat Guy from Brooklyn. What do I know? If you want to read more about my adventures in steakhouses or any of the other top 10 lists click on the words.